We would like to interrupt our picturesque travel report to discuss a disturbing situation that had unfolded this week.  As much as we love sharing beautiful pictures and fun travel stories, we realize that there may be a darker side to RVing, and to how we, as a community, deal with emergency situations. The goal of this post is to start a conversation about it. 

In the past few weeks we noticed two pleas for help on social media concerning missing RVers .  The first was a post from a woman inquiring about an acquaintance whereabouts who wasn’t replying to her texts; and the second, a post regarding a missing woman whose son was concerned after she missed an event.  The first post was a little vague (the woman didn’t know the guy’s last name, but she sounded genuinely concerned), and the second post was very descriptive, with information about the missing woman’s RV, her truck, the area she was at, and who to contact (her son).  There was little information about the missing woman herself and only a photo of her RV and truck.  It stated that a missing person report was filed with a local tribal police in the area where she presumably went missing

Both of these posts received attention and a good dose of polarized opinions from our community.   In the case of the presumably missing man, there were two main reactions: one,  leave him alone as he may not want to be found, and the second, good on ya for caring and taking the time to try and find him as he may need help.  We don’t know if the man was found and is well, but we were astounded to see the strong feelings and strong words that were used to either praise or chastise this concerned woman. 

The reactions to the second post were even more dramatic. Several individual repeatedly and vehemently stated that this post was made by a repo company that is after this woman’s trailer.  Others stated that sharing this post can put this lady in danger because someone is stalking her, yet others, went as far as to say that her son is probably in on it with the repo company.  Some made the effort to contact the Arizona police and reported that the police knows nothing about this missing woman.  Wow.  Disturbing!  We are so naive, right?  We didn’t even think about repo companies!  Not sharing this!  

Or should we?  There were other voices in the group, not as vocal or strong, that said they called the son and got a picture of the missing woman and posted it, they said that you need to call the tribal police as they may not have shared the information with other police forces.  These voices were not very loud, nor did they use capital letters, or shame anyone fiercely into sharing the post.

Yesterday this woman was found dead in her trailer. 

We know that some people don’t want to be found, but not wanting to be found, and not wanting to be found dead, have very different meanings, don’t they?  

It is none of our business why, or how she died, but it is our business to pause and think on how we react in situations like this and how we may effect the outcome of similar situations in the future. 

Whether she wanted to be found or not is irrelevant any more; what is relevant still is that the community acted in ways that could have helped or jeopardize her life and it seems that the loud voices may have been needlessly as forceful as they were. 

Sharing the post may have helped find closure for this family and it may make a difference in other cases of missing persons in the future.  Of course, these are very complex issues.  People’s choices and lifestyles can be inconvenienced or come under scrutiny, mental illness may be at the forefront of some of these cases, and online bullying — whether intentional or not — should be a part of this conversation.  Do we even have the right to interfere?

Are we okay pissing off someone who doesn’t want to be found if we have reason to believe that their life is in danger?  It’s okay to be cautious when sharing posts online, as there are certainly too many scams, hoaxes, and misinformation, that we really do have to be very careful.  What about those conspiracy theories?  Are there really repo companies going around posing as concerned family members, and can we make statements like this about specific cases without having more specific information?  There are of course, many variables to each individual situation, and facts versus compassion need to go into a decision whether to help or not to help — or if we  translate this into social media speak: to share or not to share. 

We don’t have answers.  We wish we had, but one of the obvious takeaways is that a missing person plea needs to be crafted very carefully so that it is credible.  Perhaps, there also needs to be some support from the community itself — as diverse and multi-voice as it may be.  There are certainly numerous RVing groups and organizations out there, and perhaps one of them can form an advocacy group that can act as a verification committee (not unlike Snopes), and follow up on information provided in missing persons cases.  This may ease people’s minds that a post is legit and can be shared. 

This is just one idea and there are probably a lot of other, better ideas out there!  Speaking for ourselves, we would like to know that if we came into trouble, there is a community that will be there to help us and our family in any way that they can, and we would like t think that we would do the same for others.  

By staring a conversation about missing people AND about some of the ways that people communicate their thoughts on social media, which in some cases, may have dire consequences for others, we may be able to facilitate some change. 

So yes, this is a call for action!  Please, take a minute to share this with some of your RVing friends and groups and start a discussion.  Please post relevant, thoughtful, and constructive comments below (avoiding cap locks if possible).  Please refrain from discussing the details of the two cases presented above.  We just might be able to make a small difference in someone’s life.  

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