Did we love you enough?

You were such a funny looking puppy, slowly growing into your giant ears.

 

You knew how to demand love.  Visitors and returning residents had to have a mandatory belly-rubbing session with you before entering the house, and you always reciprocated with a little lick to show your love and appreciation.  There was also a mandatory morning belly-rubbing session – even before food.

Food was always important to you, but love was even more important.  We think we loved you as much as we could, whenever we could, but we could have loved you a little bit more.

Did we keep you safe enough?

You always got into mischief.  Especially when it was food related.

 

Our fridge was fastened with a ratchet strap so that you will not be able ever again to open it and steal all the meat from there and hide it all over the house.

There was no food in lower cabinets or on coffee tables after you stole a box of red wine and cracked it open, or that time that you stole and ate a whole chocolate cake that a guest brought over and placed on a low table.  You also got into our water colour paints and had rainbow poop for days. We replaced all the lever handles on our doors so that you will not be able to open those doors again, especially the ones that hid all the Christmas chocolate, or dog food behind them.

I think that by the time we were able to figure out your talents and exceptional ability to analyze situations to your advantage, we were able to keep you safe. Mostly.

You were always ever so graceful…

 

Did we keep you happy?

You had such a big personality and presence.  You weren’t into fetching balls or sticks – more of an intellectual type really.  Your happiness evolved mostly around people-love and food, but you needed a bit more, so we taught you stuff – how to whisper for example –  and took you on trips.  You were a well traveled dog!

 

When we couldn’t go on trips we took you for walks in the forest, where you had your special stops – we always joked that these were your blog posts, or your Facebook page and you were reading the comments.

 

You knew the difference between a car, a van, and a truck, but were equally excited to go in any of them.

 

Laying on the deck and lazily catching flies, was also a happy pastime for you,

or just chilling in a hammock,

as was sitting on the bay window and guarding us from the dangerous squirrels and bunnies that taunted you.

 

We think you were happy.  We know we were.

Why did we think that it will be forever?

You chose us at the animal shelter to be your forever people.  Your litter mates all fumbled aimlessly in the room, but you knew exactly what was going on and attached yourself to us demanding to be taken home.  There was no question which puppy is coming home with us.

But it wasn’t forever and you stayed for a short twelve years. Not nearly enough. Keeping you happy, safe and loved wasn’t enough to protect you at the end.  Of course we made sure that you were loved, safe, engaged, and happy, and while we did all that for you, we were loved and kept safe and engaged and happy in return.

There is no forever home, we are all here for a short time, so give your pets and your loved ones some extra love each day.  With all that said, the grief that we are experiencing now is small compared the joy we all had.

 

It’s the little things that make the hole in our heart bigger; not you are no waiting in the window, and it was just the wind that opened the back door(yup, you knew how to let yourself in the house).

We can now go on anywhere without planning dog-related alternatives.  Our house and  campervan will remain clean longer since there is no longer a double-coated, year-round-shedding-monster in the house.  We ceremoniously removed the strap from the fridge and can now have a proper trash can in the house and we can grow tomatos that we will be able to harvest before you do.

We are planning our next trip and we know it will be hard, but we will always look at the navigator spot between us and see Emma sitting there in anticipation of the next adventure.  We may even be able to smile at the memories without tearing up.